Here's Why.
This time last year was a pretty bad time in my life. I'd just been kicked out of my live-in voluntary job for having a relationship with another volunteer (who is now my fiancee). I was thus unemployed, depressed and in debt up to my eyeballs. September came and I was fortunate enough to secure a full time fairly well paid job in London. I moved back home and my fiancee moved back in with his family (a hundred or so miles away) so that we could get rid of the overpriced flat we had been staying in and start making some money.
I started my job. Getting up at 5.30am every morning to get to work for 8.30am and not returning until 6.30pm. Not fun. Had to be done though, I had a mountain of debt growing by the day. I went every day, came home every night. I was miserable.
Come January, things got worse. I was officialy diagnosed as Bipolar. I tried all sorts of medications, nothing helped. Didn't help that my fiancee hates tablets as a treatment for depression and mental illness which made me feel i was somehow weak for taking them. Dont get me wrong, he never told me to stop taking them, he's been incredibly supportive. Things went from bad to worse. The only good thing was the fact we had now moved back in together, and i had had my debt written off with a Debt Relief Order.
To the world I had it all. Great job in the achingly trendy SoHo, a wonderful fiancee, a great place. On the inside, i was dying. I hated my life. Hated my job. Hated it all. Still, I bumbled along playing the ever nice fiancee/daughter/employee.
A month ago, I cracked. Walked out of work. Thats when i knew i had to quit. Nothing was worth this. Absolutely nothing. I didnt care about the stigma of being unemployed, or people thinking I was nuts giving up a job in this economy. I just had to get out of there. It's the best thing I have done. Certainly the best decision I have made in a while.
So now, I have the time I need. No pressure, no work. Time for me. To figure out who I am, what I want. Time for therapy, for medication. Yes, it's selfish. Yes I've put my fiancee under a lot of pressure to be a sole provider. Ultimately though, health and happiness must come first.
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